Friday, November 1, 2013

9w1d: Twin Loss in a Heartbeat Too Soon

We lost one of our miracles today. 

But we have not lost hope. We've come too far and our faith too strong. 

We continue on this journey providing the same love, care, and nurturing to the one who stays just when both were there. 

Our hearts are heavy but our spirit strong. 

Today's experience reminds me of a Spanish song whose lyrics say

no ves que la vida
es como un columpio

Cuando sube
se siente bonito
pero cuando baja
eso duele mucho

The only reflection for today is in the comfort of the words of an unknown author:

Could I have died so soon,
so soon that my cries
were silenced in your womb?

So soon that I'll never touch
your breast nor feel
your hands caress
my brow?

So soon that you never got
to sigh and cry
sweet tears of joy,
for your first child,
your first born boy?
Could I have died so soon?

I suspect not,
for I felt the passion
of your love around me
as my heartbeats slowed,
then stopped.

As I lay motionless,
I heard the misery in your cries
that I would not be born alive
and wondered, why?

Yesterday father, you fathered me.
Today dear mother, you birthed me.
I was there, you were there,
we all stood witness.

I heard your whispers
that you love me.
I heard you tell each other
how beautiful I was viewed
in my eternal quietude.
I even felt your soft caress
as you held me to your breast.

On this morn, mourn not for me.
With ethereal grace I have a name.
I have a home, I have a life...
To live through all eternity.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry you lost Baby B! I was rooting for her. Besos to you both, G.